If you want to build confidence quickly, you may want to read: 5 Ways To Build Self-Confidence Now. Although, chances are that those tips might not actually work for you, and if they do, your confidence might only last mere minutes.
The best way I’ve found out to gain confidence is when people treat you as a confident person. When others believe you are confident, you’ll believe it too. But for people to believe that you’re a confident person, they must see your confidence.
The problem now becomes that you must show confidence even though you don’t have any. It’s as if you must act tough when you’re at your weakest.
You could say it’s learning how to act. Learning how to act happy even though you are depressed. Or how to act depressed, even though you are quite happy. Expressing yourself as calm and collected, even when you're going nuts on the inside.
This takes time. Yes, it’ll take a year, probably more. But it’s worth it. You’ll learn tons in the process. You’ll learn about yourself and other’s body language. About hormones and emotions. About charisma, pity, enthusiasm.
You’ll need persistence. Persistence as in forcing yourself, over and over again, to express emotions you aren’t actually feeling, but want to feel.
“Act the way you'd like to be and soon you'll be the way you'd like to act.”
- Bob Dylan
You’ll also experience the Imposter phenomenon. Especially at the point where others start treating you as a confident person. You may feel doubtful or unworthy of such treatment.
A discrepancy develops between the way one sees him/herself and the way in which others see them. The person is very aware of the difference between his/her public image and private image. They feel like a phony who has fooled others into believing they are someone they really are not. If IPs do not work through their feelings of phoniness they may never attempt to attain their dreams. They experience a great deal of anxiety and dread being exposed as fakes. They may not be achieving all that they are capable of achieving and they may turn down opportunities to advance. Several studies have shown that there are no gender differences in those who suffer from the IP. Men as well as women suffer equally and may even suffer more intensively from Imposter feelings. Because men are not socialized to express a wide range of feelings publically, they may suffer more in silence than women when it comes to feeling inauthentic.
- Imposter Phenomenon
This is like a bump in the road to success. Once you’ve passed the bump and accepted your new identity, that’s where you start believing in your own confidence.
If you are up for the challenge, I’ll leave you with the following resources:
I’ve left you with a bunch of resources and unclear instructions. But what are you supposed to do with all this?
Now that you know what to do, and where to find all the resources you need, I wish you good luck. It’s good that you understand that this will take time. And effort. Lots of effort.